deviate.sg

like finally. and a nine-month hiatus proves to erode not only physical fitness, but entire histories as well. ungrateful would be an understatement, but some organisations should just die with the memories. 'nuff said.

now that i'm free and not intending to work for the foreseeable future, learning trading and revising for scjp would be my primary concerns before starringSMU kicks off in a while. well, besides my recurring DIY supper appetite. cheers!

getting older each day. and hit with another of my bi-annual cough/cold packages. not my ideal birthday weekend, but there's nothing much i can do.

thanks for the wishes: clement tay, justyne, weichao, wanhui, weimin, saywei, hanmei, yongtai, adam, joel, cindy, zhengwei, tianshun, cunyang, jianchuan, joshua, jinkai, luck, steph, zhenru, wenzheng, shaun, bihui, billie, wanching, victoria, darren, cherene, denise, edmund, dawn, zixin, ryanna, amy, ivan, huiting, jestyn, zihui, derrick, joseph, joe qh, clement ho, kelvin, boonhwee, dallas, vanessa, cheeyae, alvin, aloysious, gerry, joe lk, jasper, sabby, eewen, wanjia, fueifong, and stradford.

since aw has enlightened me on the wonders and perils of privacy on the internet, i've decided to restrict access to certain content. to make things easier (and to contradict my previous point), what better platform than facebook for authentication (:

day two of ns resumption (or rather, day 696 in total) brings back repulsive memories of regimentation that i have been vindicated of for 8¼ months. 34 more days till summer technically begins and i'm already dreading this liability (literally). blahh.

and so.. a quarter of uni life disappeared after i walked out from a 34 page exam.

this term has taught me:

- that everything i learnt from poly is inherently flawed, if it was of any use to begin with. either that or this "unique pedagogy" has gone a little too unique.

- english is subjective. and there's no point arguing if a subjective view is used as a standard. heck, that means there is no standard.

- one can make a living predicting a range of numbers instead of predicting the number itself. for the extreme, learning theorems also induces sleeplessness from their sheer ability to approximate patterns.

- that working through the night screws with your mind. thus, effective time management is important; but it is also a fallacy. which basically means: be prepared to lose a little more sanity next semester.

- that corporate social responsibility is a lie and business ethics is all but theory, which focuses on self anyway. that, albeit sadly, is a reaffirmation of my last point from last semester.

summer begins in a month for me. after i get ns done and over with, starting monday when i have to don repulsive green again. well, at least there's circle line.

the past week has been hectic; being the last week of school, plus i only started on my research paper due thursday during the weekend (which explains why i wrote continuously for 23 hours, less meals, to complete it thursday 5.20am). i'm also way behind on 2 other assignments and a whole backlog of revision.

so it probably wasn't a good time when my grandfather passed away tuesday 2.08pm. he's been in and out of hospital for the past few years for diabetic complications and at the icu a week before, so i guess we were more or less prepared for it. my past week was trying to finish work and being at the wake when i wasn't working. today, we sent him on his final journey, after almost a century of adventures escaping from the chinese army to singapore, and entrepreneurial startups from soya bean milk to coffee shops to making my family what it is today.

it's been a long day traveling here and there, and i'm glad hes resting at a pretty nice place. i wrote this line for my synthesis assignment six weeks back: "only through adversity do emotional bonds forge", and today, i can attest to the true meaning of that statement.

i think i've been writing so much this sem, i didn't feel like writing here much. well, food makes me blog; that's my salad supper.

3½ weeks to summer. awesomeness. well, besides the fact that i'm heading straight back to camp for the first five weeks. but yeah. summerrrrrrrrrrrr.

whenever i was down with the usual cold, cough, etc, i was usually sick, period. medicine only served a psychological purpose, to reaffirm that i was being responsible for myself. but my down periods usually extended way beyond the dosage such that i no longer bothered and eventually crossed the blurred wellness line. i believe my family gp has much to do with this, given his part in making my system rather immune to antibiotics.

and during my down periods, i'd creep into my tired self, pseudo-introverted and mostly nonchalant. then i realised, my usual mood was mostly as such anyway. i was rarely in a high. life breezes past everyday without an interim meaning. we are forever working hard towards a future, and when that future arrives, we work harder towards another future. it never ends does it? perhaps when satisfaction has been achieved, and i look forward to that day.

so the holidays started. and ended. didn't have much of a holiday anyway.
so did christmas and the new year. hello twenty ten!
first day of school. second to most other people.
the return of the dreading feeling. maybe worse.
fourteen point five weeks to summer break.